Monday, June 25, 2012

Enough with the Labels, Okay?

i'm over it. and when i say "labels" i mean literal, physical, handwritten or typed out or chalkboarded labels and shit, labeling items that don't need labeling.

like cutesy little drink tables that label things like "beer" or "wine." or taco bars with labels like "lettuce" or "salsa." or shelves in bathrooms with labels on them that say "towels."

labels should be there to help us out with things that might not be so obvious. so if there's a mystery keg, go ahead and make me an artsy little label that let's me know what i'm about to tap, such as "downtown brown" or "shock top." help me to know which of the salsas at your party is spicy and which is mild. label things vegetarian, vegan or gluten free. that's helpful. is this sun dried tomato hummus, or roasted red pepper hummus? thanks for the little folded card in front labeling it, i couldn't tell by looking at it.

"i'm gonna put a bird on a bird, put it in a jar and label it."

you know portlandia's put a bird on it? i said awhile ago that i wanted to make a follow up called "put it in a jar" to clown on all the silly things in jars. mundane things or ordinary thoughtless things that somehow become special and funky and "indie" (i hate that word) because they are now in their cool jar home.

like this nonsense. cute, but come on. there's not enough basil there to create anything meaningful.

once i make my "put it in a jar follow up", i'm going to follow that up with "label it." anyone have fred armisen's phone number?

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